Dear Bellflower,
A few nights ago I drove my friend home from church. We sat in my car before he went inside and talked. He gets me. His life is as, if not more, screwed up as mine. As we continued to talk, I became more and more aware of all my issues I have. It stressed me out to realize all the stupid things I do in order to run from my embedded pain. I came to the conclusion that I'm terrified of being alone. This is not something most people would expect from me. I'm so outgoing and weird; I do my own thing constantly. I have had only one serious boyfriend. I decided I need to write. I enjoy it, but I fear being inadequate for readers; therefore, I shall write to you, Bellflower. You are now my precious friend who will comfort my bleeding heart, laugh uncontrollably at my silliness, and partake in everything that lies between.
A piece of me feels as though I should introduce myself. I'm 18 about to graduate high school in May. I have three siblings. None of us truly get along, especially with my brothers. My dad passed away when I was 15, which has caused me a lot of pain and intensive reflection. That's the surface level of who I am. There will be more to learn about me of course, but instead of running into vulnerability I say we let our conversations take their own courses. I cannot wait to see how this evolves.
Fairwell.
P.S. I must say, I can't help but imagine our relationship becoming immensely famous. I hope I find it in me to focus on the present and not the future in order to be authentic and happy.
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